dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
