What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
