Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
