youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
