i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
