Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
