There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
