the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
