so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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