he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
