Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
