I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
