Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
