Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
