Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
