I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
