he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
