i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
