Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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