worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
