Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
