Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
