now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
