Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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