yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
