I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
