we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
