Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
