He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
