this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
