Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
