He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have already put on my inside pants.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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