I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
