You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
