her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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