you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
