dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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