i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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