you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
