i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he puts the penis in happiness.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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