we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
