no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
