Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
