There was a lot of him and a little penis
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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