just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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