we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
