A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
