She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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