It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
