Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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