like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
40s are totally the cure
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
